Learning One Simple Practice Can Turn Around Internal, Negative Doom Loop Thinking
You will be surprised how old and effective this method is.
As the holiday season approaches, we anticipate a time of joy, faith, togetherness, and celebration. Yet, for a significant number of people, this period can usher in feelings of isolation and melancholy, giving rise to what can be described as a ‘doom loop’ of emotional distress.
But there is a way out of it — or rather, there is a way through it. The solution to holiday blues is a simple, personal practice seen in the Book of Psalms and promoted by a modern therapeutic method. And it works.
We have to know how to talk back to ourselves.
The inner dialogue we have with ourselves is a determining factor in our mental health and outlook on life. In his seminal work Spiritual Depression, Dr. David Martin Lloyd-Jones writes that managing that inner voice of “self-talk” can either plunge us into despair or lift us into healthier thinking patterns that will develop happiness and personal wellness.
As Lloyd-Jones explains, “The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself.” Yet rarely do we exert conscious control over our self-talk, allowing it instead to operate on autopilot, habitually echoing negative attitudes and emotions. In the grips of spiritual depression, he personifies this as our “self” speaking to us, as it “brings back the problems of yesterday” and crushes our spirits anew every morning.
We all know what this is like. We awaken to a new day, but the memory of yesterday, an old day, fills us with regret, grief, sorrow, worry, and anxiety. We experience endless negative messaging within, and often, we can spiral downward deeper into a darkened mindset.
The solution Lloyd-Jones offers is as simple as it is profound: we must talk back. Rather than being passive listeners to our negative inner monologues, we must actively engage in a deliberate self-dialogue. Just as we would counsel a depressed friend by confronting their negative cognitive distortions, we must counsel ourselves.
The preacher’s advice should be carefully understood: “Most of your unhappiness in life is because you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself.” The key is to flip the script on who is doing the talking. Counsel yourself rather than being counseled by the parts of your mind stuck in negative ruminations.
This capacity for inner dialogue, wherein we question our disordered thoughts rather than just letting them flow, is similar to the techniques taught in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT aims to make patients aware of irrational thought patterns and consciously shift to more constructive self-talk aligned with reality. Lloyd-Jones prescribes a similar redirection of unhealthy inner monologues with principles that predate modern psychotherapy by more than 3,000 years!
This remarkable and effective therapy is not new to readers of the Bible. The passage of scripture Lloyd-Jones quotes — “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” (Psalm 42) — encapsulates this empowering act of speaking back to the voices in our head feeding messages of despair.
Notice how it works. The Psalm writer is having a very difficult time of it. He longs for the old days when God seemed to be close at hand. He has been ridiculed for his beliefs and mocked for his faith in God. And he longs for the presence of the Lord.
Then, in the middle of his remembrances of these dark times, he turns inward and speaks to himself.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? (Psalm 42:5)
Then, things start to turn around! He takes control of the inner conversation and changes the inner subject, and when the subject changes, his mood changes.
Could it be that simple? Well, yes, it could.
There may be underlying issues causing a person's sadness or depression. I am not making light of a serious mental illness. But for many, this biblical and effective treatment will change inner sadness when we take control of the narrative of our lives. As Dr. Lloyd-Jones has it, “I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spiritual depression in a sense is this, that we allow our self to talk to us instead of talking to our self.”
When we master the art of handling that inner voice of “self,” we can rise above the clouds of sadness and anxiety. This might seem counterintuitive, but by learning to listen less and speak more to ourselves, we can take hold of the key to lifting depression’s darkness.
(This article is based on observations and teaching of David Martin Lloyd-Jones in his classic work “Spiritual Depression,” Chapter One.)
David Roseberry writes posts and books on relevant topics, applying biblical truth and wisdom. His work can be found at LeaderWorks.org/books, where he is Executive Director.
